August 27th.

Yesterday marked 3 weeks since I first saw baby Banes little face ❤️. Each day has begun to get a little easier... But a little bit harder too. When you have nothing other then faith to turn to you can't help but find comfort in knowing where your loved ones are, but a snap back into reality like seeing someone with their baby or having a quiet moment alone can bring back all the heartache I actually feel. Ronnie went back to work on Monday, and that alone set my week off. I knew being alone would be hard in the beginning, but I didn't imagine it to be as bad as it's been. Ronnie taking time off work was supposed to mean our baby was home with us, so him going back while I'm still home... Now empty handed, breaks my heart over and 

over and 

over again. 

All I want in my life is normality again, yet at the same time normality is what I'm trying to avoid because in my heart normality isn't possible without my son here. 

This week I did get everything situated with school, and I couldn't feel more blessed that I'm on my road to be a medical Sonographer. If I can do one thing in my life to try and prevent other couples from going through what I have, I imagine it would be pouring my heart in soul into Sonography. I can't help but think another purpose of Banes was to give me all of the encouragement in the world to follow through with what I love. So if I'm given the chance to catch something on an ultrasound even just once that could save a babies life I can't imagine my career going in any other direction. 

My sweet son definitely lives on. And he will continue to through me. Bane and I had BIG plans for ourselves while I carried him close in my tummy and I won't stop doing what I have to do until my little man sees me accomplish it all.